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July 4, 2023

Sorry guys, yes.   But let me clarify a few things.

Firstly, men need to understand that most women are not gold-diggers, they will not be with you for your money only. Still most women look for a man who will show the respect, humour, understanding, a matching value system and listening abilities. All these will contribute to building a solid foundation for a loving relationship should there also be a biological chemistry there too. However, though women have come a long way over the last 100 years, some things haven’t changed, women are still looking for men to ultimately be the protector and provider in the relationship and family, and in this day and age more than ever before, being a financial provider is an extremely important component of that.

This doesn’t mean to say that women are after a man who has already got a stack load of cash and assets sitting in the bank, (though of course that is always a plus!). Women are looking for the earning potential in a partner. She will look at what his work is, and how she and the man can work together to help him maximise his potential. Should a man have an amazing foundation for earning potential, the woman the man is looking for, will already be half way there knowing this.

There is a famous scene in Pride and Prejudice where Elizabeth the protagonist who is intelligent and well read, not to mention extremely picky about her prospects, meets Mr Darcy at a party. Her initial reaction to him is one of repulsion though he is a kind man he is socially awkward and apparently uncaring, until one day by sheer accident she sees him riding on a huge neighbouring estate. She stops and looks at him in disgust as to why someone like him is riding a horse in such a prestigious piece of property, and that the owner must be informed immediately that there is a trespasser on his land. She politely and eloquently asks him why he is riding on this land and asks him where his actually lives. Darcy turns and points to the 100-room mansion ahead of them, and says I live there, this is my land. Suddenly Elizabeth has a major turnaround. Darcy who was once the unpleasant annoyance of the party a few weeks before, has now become in her eyes, an extremely potential suitor.

Call it old-fashioned, but sorry, some things just don’t die, and this is one of them.

If there are men out there who are concerned that they can’t find a date, or suitable partner, try having a look at your earning potential and do an evaluation. Are you really someone who can be a provider for the woman you love and the family you will be creating together? This is not to say that the woman should not be a provider also, as of course in this day and age the woman can make good money all by herself, to the point where she may not even need a man for this. But men must remember, she will still be looking at this too. Therefore, if you would like a good woman with a good salary too, you will still need to provide that matching salary or better still, a notch above what she makes to make any headway into getting anywhere with that woman.

The problem today with men and women finding a binding long-term relationship that can turn into a marriage or partnership is I think directly related to how men feel about themselves in the partnership.

Men only 70 years ago were always making more money than women, and women were almost always less educated than the man and had low earning potential. Things have changed in this area and for good reason of course. But what this has done is made men feel less valuable in a relationship. The most important thing about a man in any romantic relationship is he must feel appreciated and valued. It’s difficult nowadays for a man to feel this when a lot of woman can do it all by themselves.

So, what to do?

Firstly, women will never change their biological drive to find a man who will be a provider, that is not a social construct it is a physiological need, as women may well need to deliver and care for children at some time in her life with the male partner, and she needs to feel secure that there won’t be any financial issues along the way. So men need to stop thinking this will change.

Secondly, men need to understand that their earning power is of more value than ever now. Just because women can now earn a lot of money, men should never feel they have no need to worry about that kind of thing now. Yes, they do, it is an important part of their psyche as a man.

Thirdly, women want to be with a ‘man’. No matter how much money she makes, she still wants the whole package of what a man brings.

At the same time, I’m sure you can quote me many relationships where the woman earns more than the man and both are perfectly happy with that, and of course that is fine, but in fact statistics show that this is not usually the case, and women are more often than not, settling to be alone rather than going for someone who may be a burden on their financial situation.

Right now, the data shows that 80% of women are going for the top 20% of men. And the common factor in those top 20% of men is their earning power. This means of course, that most women will not succeed in getting the man they want. What this means for men is that 80% of men are all fighting for the bottom 20% of women. So, no matter how hard that man tries, he is fighting against 4 others for that potential mate, or he may end up with a woman who is settling for someone second in line to what they truly want. Neither is going to end well.

The question is, how can he set himself up to have a better chance of getting the woman he desires? It’s simple. By increasing his earning potential.

There it has been said.

We are in a difficult time in the dating world right now, and anyone who is reading this who is involuntarily single needs to understand this fundamental thing.

The easy answer is to get women out of the workforce, de-educate them, and put them back home with the kids. But, duh! Don’t think that will happen. The other option is to get men more educated and have a better financial earning power. Not sure if that is possible either.

Our biological drives will not change. Nothing over the history of relationships has been more fundamental than the roles of men and women in relationships. But it appears that the modern world and it’s projected development didn’t consider this.

The long-term prognosis is the decline of the human race. People will simply not partner-up, babies will not be born, and slowly the population will diminish.

What will happen in the end, I’m not sure, but something to think about.

Oh, and if you liked this article, don’t forget to like and subscribe, it means you can get some more like this and more people will be able to enjoy it too! Thanks for reading!

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