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June 20, 2023

This is not about losing weight, it is about losing the inhibitions to move yourself to the next level of being.

So often we are holding ourselves back with bags of insecurities and fears that keep us from getting anywhere. But when we are alone or with friends we are suddenly free, free to laugh, speak, think and say whatever we want. Here we are ourselves. This is you…

This is a common motivational post and I will push it again. When you are learning to improve your situation in your early adult years, you will be practicing all the well known simple techniques to get yourself out of situations or solve your problems, but there will be a point where you simply have to be you – and that’s the goal.

When we think about the phrase ‘just do you’, it’s really about finding your comfort zone with yourself. Everyone has a special personality that shines through whenever they think, talk or attempt move forward – and in particular if they talk with people they feel comfortable with. This is an opportunity to find the words, phrases and situations in English that are also you.

I love meeting people from many different cultures because one thing I do notice is that different cultures have different ways of expressing themselves. There are some kinds of discussions that are unheard of in some countries and then there are others that are very common. The cultural connection to how we process information is often very different, but the ultimate outcome is generally still the same.

For example, when I first came to Malaysia I was quite shocked that people straight out blatantly would tell you if you were fat. Then following that they would tell you that you had to lose weight. This shocked me in the beginning until I told them that culturally that is not what people do where I come from. They were shocked and confused saying – ‘how will people change if you don’t tell them!’ I realized that in the Malaysian culture it was common and acceptable to say these kinds of things to each other. Now of course I don’t notice it so much, (not I didn’t say that I was no longer fat!), but if anything I noticed whenever I went back home to New Zealand, how ‘round about’ we would say something in order to not offend the person or to be politically correct. Ohh… how the woke have woken us up …be that in a good or bad way, things have certainly changed on that front.

Then in our western (British originated) culture I realized that we had a very strong sense of black humour. Then trying to have a laugh this way in Malaysia only caused confusion. They thought I was telling the truth, they were sometimes shocked that I would find such things funny. This I realized was a distinctive western phenomenon. Black humour can be a great way for us to see the funny side of our situations, but in some cultures it was considered absolutely inappropriate.

When people learn through life they need to know that the language of learning to survive and move forward is simply a vehicle to express who you are.

Use it and don’t be afraid, as ultimately, we suffer the same dilemma, being human.

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